Help

[glad4u]

Hello everybody, this is glad4u and I have a big problem. I asked my husband to help me to install the lights into my dollhouse, now he has completely taken over everything. I went to install the doors and he said that he had to put them in because I would not do it right. I wented to put the wallpaper in and he said that he had better do it because I might mess up and it would not come out right. I wanted to put on the shingles and he said that I would put them on wrong. Hey, this is MY dollhouse. I need to know how to tell him to back off without hurting his feelings. I only need him to help me with the lights. I can handle the rest by myself. It is no fun standing around watching him work on MY dollhouse. Please help me. How do I say back off without hurting his feelings. I don't mind his help, but I need to be involved too, after all it is my house. Thank You glad4u

[Ann of Boleyn]

Hi Glad4U

Welcome to the forum, hope you enjoy your new hobby and the forum. We are all a friendly bunch on here.

As for the problem with you husband. When you want to do something as in laying carpet, say to him "Can you show me how to do this" then say "Thank you, can I carry on with it now"?
Or say "Can you watch me while I do this, and tell me if I am going wrong". But make sure he lets you do it. If he says, I will do that for you, say "No, I will do it, I just need you to watch me in case I do it wrong". Hopefully, that will work, and you will do the work, albeit with him looking over your shoulder, but at least you will be involved. Or give him something to do while you are working on the dolls house. Say to him, "Can you make me a kitchen table please". You can buy a bit of wood and some newel posts for the legs and give them to him. Thus leaving you to do what you want on the house.

Hope this helps.

Ann

[mez]

Hi, perhaps you had better buy yourself another one and leave him to it!! You are lucky though as my husband doesn't even fake any interest in what I am doing - he says he just "doesn't get it":rolleyes:

[Winston's Mum]

Hi Glad4u I know exactly how you feel girl! my hubby is the same but 5/6 houses later it is now getting on my nerves, now i dont tell him unless i really do need help, last night i cut the wallpaer for my bistro and later to day am going to hang it, he hasnt noticed yet, but i have got him a job in hand if he comes in my room ha ha ps to hang light in my new pantry, so if he gets in my way have got something ready, dont put him off completely cos then he wont help at all give him something you really cant be bothered with, thats what i do now cheers honey X

[glad4u]

Hi Winstons Mom, I really hope your suggestion works. I am going to try it. I am so excited about my house. But I do want to be the one who does at least SOME of the work. My husband is such a perfectionist he comments on everything. It must be perfect. If your going to do it do it right or leave it alone. I want to scream. Thanks so much

[St.Vale]

Hiya Glad4you

Welcome to the forum, I had the same problem in the beginning with my first house and hubby but disabilities hindered me back then. Don’t worry cause the novelty wears off with these men and they can’t keep it up due to work or other commitments lol. Like with WM I have a list of things that I can’t do or want for hubby to do and throw those at him when he comes along wanting to do stuff. With us it has balanced out well and we both enjoy the hobby with me getting more time to do as I please with mine. It can get annoying when you do want something done but they don’t have time though giggle, so it works both ways really. I hope it all sorts itself out for you soon and you can continue to hobby together happily.

What house are you doing and what era are you doing it in?

[coodencat]

Hi G 4 U Think we must be married to the same fella cos mine is just the same . I have no chance actually come to think of it with most things thinks he is the only one that can do it right. Takes over, In fact it is odd cos have just had a "cough cough discussion" on how to clean the w/machine parts. I know for a fact when I put the pieces back he will take them out and have another go,
I have been having this particular prohbem since his retirement think he has nobody to be boss over now so I fit the bill ;)
Sorry to say have no answer to the problem if you discover one pleze let me know!:D
No to be fair he has rectified a few mistakes I have made in the house so is not all bad, no divorce this month :p
tc carol
http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s248/swedane/Icons/shy.gif

[Amanda]

Hi G4U

http://s249.photobucket.com/albums/gg221/hamandap/th_Welcome-9.jpg to the forum

I have the opposite problem, my husband is just not interested, I think a happy medium would be great, I now have the Lutyens to dry build and just myself to do it, so another pair of hands would come in handy at this time, but I would hasten to add my hubby is also a perfectionist with most other things his motto is do it slowly to get it right, but I have gradually educated him that I am quite capable of doing a host of different things, I used to ask him if I could do something and was always told no you would get it wrong, got fed up with that and started doing them when he was not around, now I do not even ask, just do, Good luck with your over helpful problem - maybe Mez is right you may have to get yourself another house!!!!

[mad-on-miniatures]

Hello everybody, this is glad4u and I have a big problem. I asked my husband to help me to install the lights into my dollhouse, now he has completely taken over everything. I went to install the doors and he said that he had to put them in because I would not do it right. I wented to put the wallpaper in and he said that he had better do it because I might mess up and it would not come out right. I wanted to put on the shingles and he said that I would put them on wrong. Hey, this is MY dollhouse. I need to know how to tell him to back off without hurting his feelings. I only need him to help me with the lights. I can handle the rest by myself. It is no fun standing around watching him work on MY dollhouse. Please help me. How do I say back off without hurting his feelings. I don't mind his help, but I need to be involved too, after all it is my house. Thank You glad4u

Hi G4U,

I have the perfect solution...........buy yourself another house........ and start doing that one up instead......hehehe....:D You may think this a bit drastic.........but ....... this hobby is VERY addictive and you may end up getting another anyway.......hehehe:D

[Dizzydora]

Show him your post you explained it beautifully- the reasons why you originally needed his help but now are ok on your own. Failing that tell him to get lost and get his own:D
Besides we all learn by our mistakes and how will you learn how to apply shingle or hang doors if you never try
Good luck let us know how you get on.

[Winston's Mum]

Hi i have a perfect example happened yesterday. I dont usually hang the wallpaper, but with doing the flower shop and staff room, i asked hubby to show me and i did it, so yesterday afternoon decided was going to start cutting the wallpaer out ready to go in the shop above the florist, so i cut it all and stuck it all up, he comes in and says oh no no no you ve put too much paste on tht it will never dry!!!!!!!!!!! well i am sorry but i lost my temper and told him so in no uncertain terms to get lost!!!!!!!! Any way last night he came and had a look and said its ok its drying out now, why oh why dont he trust me put piccies on last night so you can all see it. And today am in my hobby room and it looks GREAT and is all dried out. Well well well!!!!!!

[Ann of Boleyn]

Morning Chris,

Did you go all green and bust out of your trousers?

Well done for doing the wallpaper yourself. It all comes right in the end.

Ann

[Winston's Mum]

Hi Ann yes i very nearly did a buster blood vessel type thing lol. We friends now he has even just said oh it looks good! thats the best i will get i think ha ha

[St.Vale]

Lol WM, I do things while hubby is out and once he’s returned it’s too late giggle, least if I do do something wrong he doesn’t see it happen lol

[Winston's Mum]

hee hee Val are we all the same then! also when i do my new house i want to do it in here, my hobby room cos then he cant see what i am up too lol, then when its done will put it back in lounge, think i will do basment part first, and work up, see already planning, still have loads to do before i start that but at NEC will be getting a lot of modern stuff, i hope!!

[helen1000]

awh blesss.. my other half has completely built my house and just put the wiring in for me and he has many ideas for the house... as much as i am grateful for him building my very own house i have left him to build and decide on the structure of the house and all his ideas about the outside of the house.... however the inside of the house ! thats my my part in it as its my house lol its been lovely to share my hobby with my other half and yes!! i think i have converted him into the world of dollhouses and miniature's and i have dealt with him in ways that problems i need him to do are wonderful for him to help me with and i couldn't have done without him.... but there are things i like to do myself.. I've made this a project we have done together but at the end of it i have what I've always wished for...... I'm waiting at the mo for him to complete the things he needs to do before i can do what i need to do... lol...... its nice to have someone that shares your passion and all i can say is he must want you to have a fabulous house..... and well I've worked along-ed side my fella if you work together you will have your house the way you want it..... you just need to in force the things you want to do its worked with me lol......

[helen1000]

hi folks I've had a little drink tonight and have just read my last post lol it seems to repeat itself i do apologize as i had a baby 4mths ago and thought id have a couple of rum and cokes after all the time I've not had a drink and it seems to have gone Right to my head!!!!

[St.Vale]

Giggle Helen, don't worry, some of us do that without a drink lol

[amchoor37]

Hello glad4u and welcome to the forum, you have a few choices to make

1) Leave him to it
2) Cut off his fingers
3) Go and buy yourself a bigger and better one just for you and if he comes any where near it you can send him back to his.

I like the idea of number 3 but if you chose number 2 I would use a dremel.

[Winston's Mum]

Hi Helen hows your head today, i laughed at that one as i know full well what its like to be under the inlfuence ha ha ps congrats on baby too X

[emilyc2000]

My mum used to be exactly the same!
Sometimes it's nice to have a little bit of help but othertimes I understand that you want to work on your house alone!
Just tell him how you feel or encourage him to go and make something else for the dolls house while you concentrate on what you want to do!
You may even have to go as far as buying another house!
Lol!
Let us know how you get along! :D
xxx

[helen1000]

Hi Helen hows your head today, i laughed at that one as i know full well what its like to be under the inlfuence ha ha ps congrats on baby too X

i have just read this post.... my head was a little fragile next.... i lay in my bed that night with my head spinning lol

[Winston's Mum]

hee hee did wonder how you was, thanks for telling me lol

[helen1000]

hee hee did wonder how you was, thanks for telling me lol
i think i will just have 1 or 2 next time lol

[Winston's Mum]

Mornin i always say will only have a couple then i forget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[helen1000]

Mornin i always say will only have a couple then i forget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me too lol am making up for lost time..... lol

[littlethings]

Hello glad4u and welcome to the forum, you have a few choices to make

1) Leave him to it
2) Cut off his fingers
3) Go and buy yourself a bigger and better one just for you and if he comes any where near it you can send him back to his.

I like the idea of number 3 but if you chose number 2 I would use a dremel.

lol....................very good advice.

My hubby is the same but have to be careful not to upset him because I need him for the wiring....I'd blow the house up if I did it. He gets a strop on on the odd occassion and tells me to get on with it!!

Hope you manage to come to some sort of compromise.

[Lorriebe]

Girls I had such a laugh reading this thread I came into it in the middle and thought what am I reading sounded so complicated then my computor got its act together and I got the whole story ,have to agree with every word cannot do this hobby without them but just some times it would be nice not to get so much!!!!!! ...advice, (they just jealous cos we is girls and can do this.).....Fairy tower is cut out and waiting on base trying to figure out discrete wiring so as not to spoil effect of magical mystery ....piccies to follow soon , put fairies in album I think you can take a peek if you like Do you all have albums too.? Love to see them ....Thanks for the giggle.....

[vermont2002]

My hubby is very very handy and I know that when I get started on my house, I will need his help -- but I'd also be ticked off if he completely took over. With him, I can just say back off and he will know that I mean it. And he encourages me to try things on my own.

But if you think his feelings would be hurt by that approach, I would suggest saying to him, "You seem to be really enjoying this house! Would you like to finish it up?" And then go and get yourself another one of your own while he's busy with your first house!!! GO FAST!

And, while all THAT is going on, make a point of observing what he does and then say, "You know, I've learned a LOT by watching you and it's really gonna help me when I build my new house -- thanks, Honey!"

OK, so that was four cents worth -- but once I get going I can't stop!!!

[caz]

I'm lucky in that respect, I haven't got a hubby anymore.

I showed him the door when he bedded my Avon lady.

[Hollyrafe]

:eek: Good for you!

[Ann of Boleyn]

Hi Holly,

How are you? Wondered where you were. Have you had a productive weekend, doing your house?

[Winston's Mum]

i was going to say i used to be an Avon lady when kids were little but thought better not, i lived in london then by the way not kent ha ha

[Hollyrafe]

Hi Holly,

How are you? Wondered where you were. Have you had a productive weekend, doing your house?

Hi Ann,
Well I got all those windows done but that was it, I'm poorly with this rotten cold thing-just can't shake it. So I'm quiet for once, lol

[Hollyrafe]

i was going to say i used to be an Avon lady when kids were little but thought better not, i lived in london then by the way not kent ha ha

Well unless you were bedding your client's husbands you have nothing to worry about! haha

[caz]

No, her name was Anna & and it was in Derby.

[Winston's Mum]

my middle name is Ann!!! omg it wasnt me honest Mrs!! Caz he deserve the kick ing out honey x

[Hollyrafe]

And well done for doing it! I woulda gave her a makeover too!

[Ann of Boleyn]

Hi Ann,
Well I got all those windows done but that was it, I'm poorly with this rotten cold thing-just can't shake it. So I'm quiet for once, lol


Wish you better Holly, this bug seems to hang on and on doesn't it. Hopefully I have avoided it, just had a week of sniffles a few weeks ago, but seemed to get over it a lot quicker than the rest of you on here, I'm glad to say.

Take care, I am off to bed now.

[Hollyrafe]

Thanks Ann, you too, night night

[caz]

And well done for doing it! I woulda gave her a makeover too!

I would've done, but, when I found out, she was having his baby.

[Hollyrafe]

Oh Caz, bless, your life is like Eastenders. Not that I should talk.:rolleyes:

[Winston's Mum]

night night Ann x

[caz]

I wouldn't know.

Not having a tv.

Besides, Soaps have never interested me, (except the ones I use to wash with), lol.

[Jjude]

you too caz? no tv, i got rid of mine when my last daughter moved out in september. I begrudged paying for a licence, for something i rarely watched. I now watch the odd program or two on iplayer at no cost. its brill.

[caz]

Yes, I got rid of mine in 1999, when I got rid of the hubby.

I don't miss it, (or the tv)..